What's Happening to the Business Handshake?

Fist bumps – elbow taps – offering namaste (or if spoken, namaskar) – nodding…what does it all mean?  What’s happening with the decline of a good, old-fashion handshake?  Where is it going?  What is it being replaced with?  What do we gain and what information do we potentially lose?  When conducting business these days – we should be asking these questions and adapting our business demeanor to keep up.

Now that hand-to-hand interactions may be fading away, we need to find alternate pathways for acquiring the information that they once offered.  When facilitating business etiquette workshops, I’ve spent upwards of a couple of hours just reviewing, deciphering and then practicing the art of a successful handshake.  I emphasize that handshakes (especially in a business setting) serve as a non-verbal messenger between individuals.  It offers language; it offers unspoken intent.  Handshakes can make or break a connection before any real verbal interaction begins.  This age-old communication tool offers a wealth of information; an impression is made.  It is here, in this very moment, that you...and they...begin establishing perceptions about the potential for a business connection.  Think back to the last few handshakes that you were engaged in.  What were your thoughts?  Was the handshake…firm (good vibes); bone crushing (whoa, looking to prove something); weak (no deal here), princess (condescending) and/or my ultimate favorite…wet (nervous, much)?

Without the handshake, what are our options?  Well, we can adapt and shift focus onto other non-verbal cues to give us the “message” or information we seek.  Is the person positioned toward or away from you?  Do they offer you appropriate eye-contact or are they searching for the exit?  Are they interested in what you have to say; asking questions; engaging in the moment?  Are they calm and relaxed in your presence – what’s their speech pattern like?  These are cues that you should already be looking for – but may now have to give a little closer attention.  Remember - they will most likely be assessing you in the very same way.

I don’t reasonably believe that handshakes will totally disappear, however they may be greatly reduced in early-stage rapport-building.  So…how do you handle the inevitable scenario:  you encounter a new or somewhat familiar individual – extend your hand in greeting and it is not taken?  In the past, you may have been offended at what was perceived as a slight..a Cut Direct (social snub).  Today…you adapt.  When asked about what to do in this dreaded scenario, I offer the following: “simply, shake your own hand”.  Before taking offense, calmly bring your hand down and clasp your other hand.  With a nod or a namaste or a hand over your heart, look them in the eye and offer a sincere greeting of “nice to meet you.”  This allows the relationship-building process to begin or remain on positive ground.